It time again for me to scribble's something that had been in my head lately. I have once reach the top of my life, when everything was so awesome and great. Its not to say that I am not now, but nowaday's can be consider as my thinking/pause time. Where I need to rethinking and re evaluate back all the things that I want in my life. I don't want to be on top on the world but in the same time I felt so lost and a very big hole in my heart, emptiness filled the atmosphere.
Thus, with the pause button that had been granted by Him, I am carefully constructing back the kind of person that I want to be. I am thanking my parents for giving me such a good foundation in life, because every time I fall, no matters how hard and pain full it might be, insyallah with His will I know how to get up and running back.
Thus I want to keep few thing as a reminder to myself:
1) Religion is the up-most important. Ya Allah I am born Muslim and I want to live and die as a Muslim too. Please help me to continue being able to practice and committed to be a Muslim.
2) Prying that in what eva I do He will continue guide me to the right path. A wonderful career that not only bring benefits to me but also as an Ibadah to you. Not to forget, being able to contribute positively to our Ummah.
3) Help me to continue to be the person that my family and friends always thank full having and insyallah proud off.
4) This posting will be WIP and update continuesly amen Ya Rab
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
It been nearly 2 yr ++ i am struggling with 1 of many problems in my life. I try my best to tackle it one by one, coz if I look at it from far, I am going to faith due to the volume and capacity. One by one, insyallah. Pry to Him that I am gonna Istiqamah with it. Allah will always grant your wish if you pry and work it really 10000x hard.
So starting last month I have taken steps towards tackling one of the problem...guess what which one ??....hahhaa...my weight of course. It has been awhile for me not to think about it. Been trying lots of method before that why I felt tired aka malas to continue as there is no positive result.
But then a month ago I weight my self and totally in shock. I have gain so much up until I am already reaching Overweight area with BMI of 28...just 2 more point I am going to be the most unwanted area...OBESE.
Only Allah know how shock am I with the figure. My waist measurement at that time is already exceeding the healthy zone.
And to make thing worst, my family already keep on complaining about my rapid gain. Few people have approach me to sell their product. I have try few and lost noting except my hard earn money.
Getting news that my older brother has lost nearly 10 kg and my sister in law 7 kg make me felt so envious. How come at their age they still manage to loose such significant amount of fat??...my younger one also have loose 5 kg.
Due to all the family pressure existed it has fuel me to do the same. I cant bear the idea of being the only one who is bulat holding the Doremon tittle..arghhhhh
Thus for the past 1 month I have take effective measure. My target is to loose 14 kg in 6 months. So my target date will be on Dec 2012. By saying that 3 kg each month is needed, equal to 0.7 - 0.8 kg each week.
I keep track of my meal each day, target only 1200 calories consume each day (in which many have fail especially in the 1st week). Trying to be consistent to be active 3 days in a week 30 minute each session. (brisk walk 4.0).... this is the one that I highly doubt....Ya Allah give me the strength and passion to lived healthy.
Oh one more thing target to consistently fast after this Ramadhan on Monday and Thusday. Reminder to my self only fasting day on 600 calories is allowed. Thus no excessive breaking fast food ya. Based on recent study fasting 2 days in a week can reduce the risk of cardiovascular illness. No wonder in Islam we are recommended to fast 2 days in a week. Allah is really know so much...He is the creator...He is the one that really know what best for us.
So going to pry and work hard towards the goal. This week I should weight my self to get the recent measurement taken. Maybe tomorrow will be great insyallah, will update what the progress :)
So starting last month I have taken steps towards tackling one of the problem...guess what which one ??....hahhaa...my weight of course. It has been awhile for me not to think about it. Been trying lots of method before that why I felt tired aka malas to continue as there is no positive result.
But then a month ago I weight my self and totally in shock. I have gain so much up until I am already reaching Overweight area with BMI of 28...just 2 more point I am going to be the most unwanted area...OBESE.
Only Allah know how shock am I with the figure. My waist measurement at that time is already exceeding the healthy zone.
And to make thing worst, my family already keep on complaining about my rapid gain. Few people have approach me to sell their product. I have try few and lost noting except my hard earn money.
Getting news that my older brother has lost nearly 10 kg and my sister in law 7 kg make me felt so envious. How come at their age they still manage to loose such significant amount of fat??...my younger one also have loose 5 kg.
Due to all the family pressure existed it has fuel me to do the same. I cant bear the idea of being the only one who is bulat holding the Doremon tittle..arghhhhh
Thus for the past 1 month I have take effective measure. My target is to loose 14 kg in 6 months. So my target date will be on Dec 2012. By saying that 3 kg each month is needed, equal to 0.7 - 0.8 kg each week.
I keep track of my meal each day, target only 1200 calories consume each day (in which many have fail especially in the 1st week). Trying to be consistent to be active 3 days in a week 30 minute each session. (brisk walk 4.0).... this is the one that I highly doubt....Ya Allah give me the strength and passion to lived healthy.
Oh one more thing target to consistently fast after this Ramadhan on Monday and Thusday. Reminder to my self only fasting day on 600 calories is allowed. Thus no excessive breaking fast food ya. Based on recent study fasting 2 days in a week can reduce the risk of cardiovascular illness. No wonder in Islam we are recommended to fast 2 days in a week. Allah is really know so much...He is the creator...He is the one that really know what best for us.
So going to pry and work hard towards the goal. This week I should weight my self to get the recent measurement taken. Maybe tomorrow will be great insyallah, will update what the progress :)
Monday, August 6, 2012
Europe Tour....Part 2 & all
After a lot of thinking, i have decided that its better for me to change to layout of how I going to present the 16 days adventure. Rather than explaining it in words that's going to be boring I guess.
So I gonna do it in picture and hope the reader can feel how I felt during the journey insyallah ...ok let start!!
Picture taken at the camping site in Austria. Really clean and friendly people. Even got a tour around the camp site with buggy by the staff :) ...oh at this place i got hug by a friendly dog...shocking wet...samak la then....huhuhu
Will upload France and my favourite place ... Switzerland in the next posting...too many ;P
So I gonna do it in picture and hope the reader can feel how I felt during the journey insyallah ...ok let start!!
Picture taken on the 2nd country we visit, Heidelberg Germany. Walking towards the train station to get to hill to see the whole city. A small and old city that is full with history.
Going to the Disneyland castle inspired in Fussen Austria...
Scholess - Castle
Neushwanstein - Neu -New - Shwan - Swan - Stein - white
Thus Castle of White Swan
Picture of the castle will be uploaded soon....
Taken while in Holland - The fishing village
Amsterdam full with bicycle, note the 3 story parking area...
Weed sold openly in Coffee House/Shop in Amsterdam
Next its Italia.....picture taken in the Vatican City
Vatican City from far....remember Angel & Demons ???
In Venice, small and very complicated city with lots of tourist. Prepare to get lost :p
The Gondola - Venice
Jetty at the Venice City...Zattere
Rome - The famous Colosseum, its really hot here...nearly knock me down, spend more than 10 Euro just for water....full with history of the century
Can you see it???...the most end building
Pisa up closed...great experience...get lost again, walk around the city the whole evening. Only come back when its already dinner time :)
Will upload the cleche leaning Pisa picture
This is the picture taken at the under the sea train station...everyone seems exited...
Will upload France and my favourite place ... Switzerland in the next posting...too many ;P
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Out of Randomness...
Once a upon a time…
I sincerely brake to pieces ...shattered
Trying to pick up the pieces and working hard to patch it back to its
original state…
In which I know I can’t
The imperfection created is part of the proof that I have survive
another kind battle
Time heals...as cliché as it may sound…I am now one of the witness
Do not ask me when it happens…it just does
All those memory, still stored but I guess it has been fully covered
with something new
All those song that used to be so meaning full now felt so empty…
From far, I pray that Allah ease you as the way He has grant me…or
maybe more
From you…..I have learned so much
Understand so many question, become more wise, poise and grateful
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
16 days adventure...Part 1
Heemmm...welcome back to world of reality....been thinking how should i approach in tabulating the layout of my 16 days trip around Europe....should i do it chronologically or mix n match of stories..part by part??...ok let see what come out...how much i have the adrenalin to type..heheheee
Then we wonder around the city and nearly get into the red light district...in which we already make run out off it.
Joining the budget tour organize by Kelana Convoy, comment...real budget to the max...minimum supervision but best of all great experience alhamdulillah.
What can i say...the experience gain is just out of my wildest dream. I can't thank Allah enough for this wonderful opportunity and rezeki...the county visited is just too beautiful subhanallah.
Recap :
Day 1
Departed from Park Lane, London
at 8am and once arrived the bus is nearly full, thus we only manage to get on the far end of the sit in the coach :P then travel down to Kentabury to pickup another 2 people...a couple who turn out to be the only married couple in the trip. Abg Andy and Kak Ina. Both are very lovely couple and very entertaining.
Stop at the train station to get into undersea train that connect UK and Europe..such and experience and again buy something...hahhaa...what else card game...to fill in the time...and we'll play all the way in the bus...
Oh not to forget got my self a new book for the trip The Social Animal then we head to Belgium, and 1st stop P&J for Belgian chocolates!
Then continue into
Holland, we'll set up camp near Amsterdam. 1st night as been agreed by the other girls to set up a tent instead of cabin...yeaaa...such a wonderful experience...Great camping site...very2 clean place and very quite area except for 1 tent near us who party all night up till 5 am...in which i did not bother at all as once i am in the sleeping bag...straight away in the wonderland....just pity my other friends who keep on mumbling about it...
Amsterdam and Volendam
After breakfast, we drive
to the picturesque Dutch fishing and cheese village of Volendam. Before that stop at one of the local place to watch how cheese and dutch wooden shoes are being made. Then its start to rain, slowly but surely getting heavier each hours..then we walk around the village in the heavy rain looking for cheap goodies and seafood for lunch.
1 important facts about this place is that they are the expert in diamond cutting all over the world. As my pocket now label as student i can only watch the places...not dare to get in...as to avoid myself from sakit hati....hahahhaha :P And note that the village is actually on a the dam (barrier built along Holland to hold back sea water) and marvel
at the fact that most of Holland is below sea level.
Then we pose for a memorable picture by the windmills. Then head straight to the capital city of Hollad....Amsterdam. We took the ride in the canals and get a better understanding of the historical information about the place.
3 interesting facts :
1 ) Majority of the houses there is very high
2 ) And most of it is till-ted style
3) Each house have a hook on top of the house
Reasons :
1 ) Majority of the houses there is very high ( Amsterdam historically always have flood in the old days)
2 ) And most of it is till-ted style ( they try to show that their house is bigger compared to others in a very subtle way as Catholic forbid them to be extravagant...i find it very amusing..really)
3) Each house have a hook on top of the house ( on this part please refer to the fact no1...the hook can be used to transfer the furniture from the lower level to the higher one without much hassle...on one more important facts their window a super larger...the size is the same with their own door)
Then we wonder around the city and nearly get into the red light district...in which we already make run out off it.
Historical information why Amsterdam have such a big and popular red district area compared to others is because the area is a famous port since the Medieval time till now...thus lots of ship will dork there and by saying that lot of sailor will go down at the area to find girls and smoke weed.
I am serious, weed are being sell openly there in the coffee house and clearly stated in the menu and customer can order and enjoy it in the open area. Their liberal thinking is just too much for me. Sex and pleasure is openly practice...they even have Sex museum openly wide for public.
As for the good thing about Amsterdam is that, there people the is very2 tall. The main transportation is Bicycle...the old version one...every where you see the people the a very slim. If a mother have 2 child the bicycle will be modified to fit the kids...and if they have pet..there will have very cute basket either in front or behind as their passenger.
Oh their also have electric car everywhere, even you can rent that widely available it around the city park near the canals.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Once a point of time....
Is it logical for someone that neva had period pain in all her adult life, got a very2 serious attack all the sudden ??....at ist taught it possible...1st day...painfull like hell...2nd day...vomitting...dizzy...pain in the lower abdoment in word can neva be describe...still cool...making my own hypothesis that its normal for period pain to be like that...thats is only the beginning
The next morning...lalalalaa....going to class so happy...because it revision day for my fava subjectn topic...deravative + hedging...hoyeee....morning class was superb...but after lunch everything down to the hill...keep going to the toilet back n forth...then around 3 i just cannot bare it anymore....maka menitis la air mata in the middle of the class...excusses my self...running to the hospital...thank you Ya Allah its just like 10 min walk to Guy Hospital...in front of the counter....trying to keep my composure...let the nurse know...then she ask me to go to St Thomas..reasons being...i cant really remember as my brain is focusing on the other thing....running again to the shuttle bus...
Just skip all the detail....i am being admitted to A&E Unit in St Thomas, 3 times pain killer...just mention it...atas, bawah semua kena sumbat....i wont give detail...the last one that works...morphin...afterwards...wow...still feel the pain but i am in cloud 9....lost...like flying...ooo....this is how it feel like...taught of not taking it...but my pain just unbareble...
Xray, blood test, urine test, CT scan, doctor consultation's...5 doctors i guess...as far that i can remember....from being admited to A&E to going back to Nurology at Guy's Hospital....the journey...is too tiring...even to tell it...i do not have the energy...
This is not the 1st time i am being admitted to the ward...2nd time alone....the 1st one once i am still in KL...again alone...Ya Allah how big is your Rahmah to me...you give me the courage to be able to overcoming it.....comment..mmg the professionalism is totally different...remind you when i was back in KL its private hospital...but here its public hospital...but the service i would say far batter off compared to Glanegels KL.
I felt so greatfull for having such an owsome doctor, nurses, radiologies, paramedic team and staff nurse...your service is truly amazing.
Even the sensitivity for me as a Muslim also been taken care accordingly.
Its true when Yusuf Al-Qardawi say...I see Muslim in the Western world...how i wish one day Malaysia will be like that :)
The next morning...lalalalaa....going to class so happy...because it revision day for my fava subjectn topic...deravative + hedging...hoyeee....morning class was superb...but after lunch everything down to the hill...keep going to the toilet back n forth...then around 3 i just cannot bare it anymore....maka menitis la air mata in the middle of the class...excusses my self...running to the hospital...thank you Ya Allah its just like 10 min walk to Guy Hospital...in front of the counter....trying to keep my composure...let the nurse know...then she ask me to go to St Thomas..reasons being...i cant really remember as my brain is focusing on the other thing....running again to the shuttle bus...
Just skip all the detail....i am being admitted to A&E Unit in St Thomas, 3 times pain killer...just mention it...atas, bawah semua kena sumbat....i wont give detail...the last one that works...morphin...afterwards...wow...still feel the pain but i am in cloud 9....lost...like flying...ooo....this is how it feel like...taught of not taking it...but my pain just unbareble...
Xray, blood test, urine test, CT scan, doctor consultation's...5 doctors i guess...as far that i can remember....from being admited to A&E to going back to Nurology at Guy's Hospital....the journey...is too tiring...even to tell it...i do not have the energy...
This is not the 1st time i am being admitted to the ward...2nd time alone....the 1st one once i am still in KL...again alone...Ya Allah how big is your Rahmah to me...you give me the courage to be able to overcoming it.....comment..mmg the professionalism is totally different...remind you when i was back in KL its private hospital...but here its public hospital...but the service i would say far batter off compared to Glanegels KL.
I felt so greatfull for having such an owsome doctor, nurses, radiologies, paramedic team and staff nurse...your service is truly amazing.
Even the sensitivity for me as a Muslim also been taken care accordingly.
Its true when Yusuf Al-Qardawi say...I see Muslim in the Western world...how i wish one day Malaysia will be like that :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
...
Hemmm...exam is just around the corner...but today thats not the main theme of my post.
I dont know weather i should talk about it or not...but then agian..something need to be said.
Normally you will dream at night because he/she has been thinking about that matters too much during that day..thus the brain create an electron that playback the situation when our body is resting. Over this week as exam is around the conner, majority of my night is...what else...other than study...in hoping that during the night i can dream about it and drill the information into my brain...;)
Most of the time its working...coz thats how i remember thousand of client information especially loan account...back then..you can ask me up and down i know it...coz i even bring them to my dream...how workholic i used to be....and i even remember it until now :P
So hoping the same mechanism to be used for my subjects.
But then again, something really wierd happend....last 2 night i drempt about...i cant really remember the detail..but sumthing about how i dress...how i need to be more modest in my appearence....i thinked my late dad was in it...and my brother....make me thinked r my dressing not modest enough???...i remember after high scholl i made a to promise to myself that i will improve my akhlak more internally rather than outside....but then again its seems not enogh lately...
Maybe its kind a good reminder to me to try to improve on how i dress...moving on....
But then again last night dream is more serious...as usual i cant really remember the detail...but what i can remember is i am so near to sakaratul maut...i meet my mom in it.....
If all this are a sign...what is it??...i want to ask my brother....but i am worried he will flip out....i am so far away from my family....i dont want them to be worried about me.
I know i should not mention this to anybody, thus i choose to blog about it...for those that reading this please do not worry....thats what i told my self....just please pry for my safety, health and ofcourse the fact that i need to past my exam.
p/s: Maybe i stress my self too much...thats why all this wierd dream surface..;)
I dont know weather i should talk about it or not...but then agian..something need to be said.
Normally you will dream at night because he/she has been thinking about that matters too much during that day..thus the brain create an electron that playback the situation when our body is resting. Over this week as exam is around the conner, majority of my night is...what else...other than study...in hoping that during the night i can dream about it and drill the information into my brain...;)
Most of the time its working...coz thats how i remember thousand of client information especially loan account...back then..you can ask me up and down i know it...coz i even bring them to my dream...how workholic i used to be....and i even remember it until now :P
So hoping the same mechanism to be used for my subjects.
Maybe its kind a good reminder to me to try to improve on how i dress...moving on....
But then again last night dream is more serious...as usual i cant really remember the detail...but what i can remember is i am so near to sakaratul maut...i meet my mom in it.....
If all this are a sign...what is it??...i want to ask my brother....but i am worried he will flip out....i am so far away from my family....i dont want them to be worried about me.
I know i should not mention this to anybody, thus i choose to blog about it...for those that reading this please do not worry....thats what i told my self....just please pry for my safety, health and ofcourse the fact that i need to past my exam.
p/s: Maybe i stress my self too much...thats why all this wierd dream surface..;)
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