Forces of Nature

Opposites attract, chemicals react..When I look at you...Deserts need the rain, Fires feed the flame..Can't deny what's true...Can't help the way I feel...(Cuz you got me, yeah)....All these elements are real...They come from deep within me...I would move heaven and earth for this fire...For this ocean I'll fight for you....Let this emotional wind take us higher...Where there's nothing we can do...I love you...Yes, I love you...This power is greater.....Than the forces of nature

Notes that i feel sumthing weird when listening to this song...felt like sumthing scratching my heart....deep...very2 deep....evething come to my head....pain...laughter...pain...fullfilled...pain....pain....mend my own open wound....its still not heal yet i can assure you that....its can bleed when eva it want and feel like...sincerly i hate it...why should i wasted all this feeling toward sumthing/someone that never even acknowledge me...my world will turn 360 degree when you r around...my heart feel lighter every time when i am thinking about you...but the same joy is also the one that torn me appart...thats not the right word...its crash me into pieces...until now i can't even open this heart to anybody....i will run and closed the door shut tightly...i know its stupid...its been years...but i still can feel the pain...i remember crying all the way my driving from work and after work when every time i think about you..and do not know how to stop the tears trebling down....how i can break down almost anywhere everytime sumthing remind me of you...i never know how deep i am in love you....

Reminder to my self...how many hours of meditation...tahajjud done just to forget all the memories...Ya Allah I know you have better plan for me...i understand..but pls take away this feeling...i cant bare it anymore...i have a new life...i need to focus with my future and cherish what i have today...thank you...I still madly in love with you.

Mumbling by my self

Today there r no class...so today activity evolved around the house...cleaning, watching drama, study...n just breaking my fast for the 2nd day of Syawal...alhamdulillah everything went well...12 more days to go then :)

Hem....all the sudden teringin nak makan bihun sup daging yg best tu....hemm...kena belajar how to find the ingredient ni....i think tommorow lets go to Peckham...or nak go to Bayswater...tp jauh la plak....lets see how...if this craving start to enter my dream tonight it shows how bad i really want it..but if not we just wait la..hehehehee....but seriouslly i think its all because of puasa...coz normally only this time i think about food too much...hahahhaaa

One thing i notice my skin conditions....its getting dryer everday...and its not even witnter yet...huhuhuu...how on earth my body will react time witnter nanti....just pry for the best.

p/s : i am only making thing worst by start visualing how sedap bihun sup rusa at setiawangsa...hahhaaaa....anyway i love living alone but enjoy company of people :)

No matter how perfect we plan....Allah know what's best...tawakkal....

Saying those words above seems easy...but action???...hope its easy too...over the weekend got to know few intresting people...got few who gonna be in the friends list and few will be in the acquaintance list....

Remember the unfortunate event on the 1st day i arrived in this new foreign land??...as i ask my self what is the blessing in disguise gonna be???...aparently i have found it partially...found new friends...who had help me a lot..show lots of new thing...intresting how Allah plan everything in His own unique way...and I am truely excited too see more wonders...thank you Allah :)

tommorow 1st day puasa for syawal ,hhhee...agak lambat start this year as maghrib here quite late....but this week its gonna be approximately the same with Malaysia time....oh one more thing...need find way to wake up earlier tommorow as yesterday already miss Subuh at 640am...arghhhh!!!!!...tommorow subuh start at 455am...Ya Allah give me the strenght to wake up to have an early date with you pls...amin

A week past

Its has been a week today....got the chance to walk around the place...visit few tourist attraction...conclusion...its intresting to find new places...new journey...new exprnce....whole new world...alhamdulillah...

Few things need to be provided...:

a) need to study at minimum 1 hour each day...
b) try 1 new question a day
c) ply hard each weekend...so by saying that study harder on weekdays...commit with all this
d) live out all kind of distraction ( u know whats kind of distraction that need to be avoided)
e) find work part time and full time in one year time...
f) a better abb'

amin...rabbi yassir wallatua'sir

Shoe...shoe...Shoessss

ok lets talk sumthing that i notice lately...i have walk too much i guess....and i have more time looking at my own shoes...huhuhuhuu.....note that i  only having this kindda luxury of only limited excess on materials...due to an unfortunate event....nvm.....1 shoe ok...for me for everything....can u imagine a full grown women with only one shoes...plus its a reebok sport shoes....ahhahahaa...i take it as a challage...can i work out 1 shoes for everything...in every occasion...hahahahha....

being a full time student is a big sacrifice....as u r financially tight...hemm...murahkan la rezeki ku ya Allah...a sacrifice that i need to take for a better future....as i am the type of lady that find my satisfaction buying my own thing with my own money kidda person...so hope Allah will help me with this journey...amin.

p/s: I think I saw someone that is cute yesterday....hahhahaha...pardon me...this is me being cheeky...hahahhaha

When I think i am no bodies.....Jane Doe

Argghhhhhhh.....noted....i know that my name carry to much weight...but i never realize how heavy it is until today!!!!!!....i am always the kind of person that love to live in my own world....live my own life...unknown...unpopular...my life is too small...too interconnected....too many brdgest...too many connection...too many people know who i am....i have my own reason why i love to keep my life a secret....i just love privacy too much...fullstop!!!!!

Really need to work extra hard to be under the radar....trying too hard to be unnotice in google and my life...do I need to go beyond the extend to discontinue my social website account???...should I??...lets see what will happend in few weeks....globalization has taken a tolls towards my life...and I seriously hate it to the core!!!

Resident

Safely arrived...new life..new chapter...rabbir yassir wallatua'sir....amin