The thinking continuessssssss............

How should i put it???...am i burnout???....seriously??...all the people around me consider myself as strong+independent+workholic+high achiver+perfectionist......seriously i don't feel any of the above right now....i felt bored...out of track...tired...easily get sick...ok...conclusion full with -ve taught....(that's not good at all)

Need to find cure for all of this as soon as possible.....(hard to think when u have running nose+tissue all over the place right now)....

Ok lets put all my worries tabulated:

1) When will i finished my professional paper??
2) Do i still want to stay at my firm after my contract ends???...looking at the countdown...it just another 100 ++ days to go...arghhhhhhhhhh ( i felt bored with my work already...am i???...or i just felt sad coz most of my closed friends are already making thier move....)
3) My weight....wawaaaaaaaaa (ok this one currently trying my best to make my RM2k investment worthed...i can do it!!!!!!...)
4) My health....cepat la sembuh...sedih coz can't be as active as before...(huhuuu....maybe thats why i become more depress lately)
5) Kat mana nak pindah???...nak cari rumah???...wahhhhhhhh...pening2....
6) Ok...yg plg sakit jiwa but aku buat tak reti je about it isssssssss...................bila nak kawin???...iam ready to get married???....mana nak cari calon???....(ok my self esteem in this area mmg dah menurun sesgt at this area...the reason is because......ok aku yg dah give up utk bercinta sbb the previous relationship still rs sakit sampai hari ni...ok aku still tak bleh nak lupa how painfull it is....learn to lets thing go my dear...its for ur own good)

Conincidence ist???..ntv7 right now discussing about partners...seriously....ok what i learn for the 15 min discussion....love your self...be happy with who you are....and be more +ve with your life....ok...love your self....love your self...love your self :)

My picture of the day....need to take care of my self more...enjoy it...flyyyyyyyyyyyyy :)

In My Head

Lot of things in my head right now....serabut...to the extend i will wake up too early in the morning eventhough i am tired.....maybe need to list it down and put it to priority...to overwhelmed with all the issues....please relex....take a deep breath.....allow ur brain to process things one by one and find the solution and pry to Allah that He always guide everthing that u do and the decision that u made....remember life is not only in this world...hereafter is the eternity that u looking for the eternal happiness......

Enough said.....lets the picture below self explained my condition right now.................




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p/s: Listening to Zain Bhikha - Our World d(^_^)b

May She R.I.P....aminnnnn

This entry is dedicated to my late grandma that has past away on 25 Ramadhan 1431 H...at 710pm. She is the one and only grandparents left in our family. 3 days of comma...on the 2nd days of comma all the family members do a small Yassin prayers on that very Friday night...at that point in time my brother have called me and ask me to be prepared for any outcomes possibles....after i have lost both of my parents...i know deep in my heart that my grandma will also follow them anytime soon...but i still pray for the best.

On that next Saturday evening she has peacefully rest in peace at her very own home...after Tarawikh I pick up my younger brother and we reach Kampung around 4 am.... Reading the Holly Book for her up till 5 am plus...after that both of us hanyut dibuai mimpi.

The next day around 11 am we buried her next to my late father and grandpa...we pray for the best and hope she will be place with all the Shuhada' in Jannah...Aminnnnnnn

I Don't Know.....

Seriously, I don’t know what to say….mix emotion sebenarnya….to the extend I still not talk about it with my brother…sbb I know if I tell him for sure the answer will be…just forget about it…don’t u ever forget how he has shattered ur world apart last time???...how we work hard just to put u back to one piece…how many of our family members are involved just to make sure that u r ok…how many baldi of tears that u have keluarkan??...how many of ur best friends and cousin come down to KL just to consol u…how many of road trip planed just to make sure ur learn to be happy again…..how many late night of Qyammulial that u have done just to find strength to forget him n try to find the happiness back to ur life???...how many email + books read to boost back ur confident….don’t make all that hard work flush down to the drain!!!!!!

But, what if I say that I am stronger now???...there is nothing wrong just being friends right???....but still how I can make sure that u not going to fall in the rabbit hole again this time????....if u fall again…I don’t think that u can ever gonna forget him….don’t waste ur emotion to the one that don’t know how to appreciate u….remember that!!!!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhh…..i hate when this thing happened…the message that I received yesterday really bugging me…….to the extend i can't even reread back the message...scared that the wall that i have build so long will shattered down just like that...ok just remember u have SHFT+ALT DELETE him from ur life last time….so just forget about it…just take his message as spam….(can I do it???...am I strong enough to do that??)


P/s : Currently listening to All American Reject - Gives U Hell ......... d(^_^)b

Apa nak jadi la????

Ok this is the second night that Mr. Migraine attack aku….entah yg ke berapa kali untuk dua hari ni….aku pun tak sure salahnya di mana???...salah makan kah???...ubat dah makan…pun tak jalan jugak….semlm dah MC…esk hopefully dah tak kena attack….mlm ni the attack mmg sgt melampau..lepas makan ubat….muntah….kasi rendam kepala dgn air pun….still not much improvement…so aku tekad semacam…gi ambik gunting dapur…sbb aku tak jumpa any other gunting….terus kasi cantas rambut aku yg dah panjang gila ni….aku rasa last it is this length time matrics dulu…aku igt lagi time tu arwah mak aku selalu dok puji…cantik anak mak rambut panjang camni(sbb dr kecik smpai habis sekolah aku mmg jenis suka rambut pendek)….then that time igt lagi siap she ajar me how to do sanggul without the needs of sepit or getah rambut….tu pun at last aku potong sbb demam teruk sgt tak baik2 time 1st year uni….heheheee….arwah mak yg tlg potong…her theory…kepala aku tak tahan panas sbb rambut tebal sgt…panas dlm badan tak keluar…tu la ceritanya…selalunya aku akan ptg my lovely hair kalu demam aku tak baik2…tp sejak kena migraine after aku kerja….tu r kerja aku….asal attack dtg je…terpaksala aku kasi cantas ja my hair….amazingly skg ni lega la sikit…tp tlg la jgn dtg lagi esk…aku dah korban dkt 10 cm kot….tlg la don’t ask me to shorten it more than this…pleassssssssssseeeeee………….plan this weekend…kasi kepala kat Along utk alter pencantasan yg telah aku lakuan tadi…..hahhahaa…J….Ya Allah…berikanlah kesihatan kepada hamba mu ini…aku perlu mencari rezeki di bumi mu ini Ya Allah….berikanlah kekuatan kepada hambamu untuk menjalankan tanggungjawabku…amin..amin ya rabbalalamin….

Life time experince....

For the 1st time in my life i have been admitted in the hospital...its all due to my awfull back pain....after going back from work on tuesday night....drop by to 1 of the 24hours clinic...after talking to the doctor...he suggest me to go to specialist the next day....coz the pain have come back few time already....just to be sure thats everything is ok....cool i need to comfort myself...that nite i just depends on annerex....then on the very morning go see specialist...that time the pain seriously give me hell....just to drive from my house to Pusrawi is already a huge challnge...still cool...but i nearly loose my patient when i can't even put my bag on my shoulder...wth...this is too much....after futher discussion with Doc he suggest for me to be warded...OML....ok....during the stay....do few fisio session to reduce the pain....n the most scary part is the MRI session....the session is to dam long....n the wierd sound comming from the machine during the session is seriously to wierd....n the space in side it...just felt like it inside the coffin....

The next day...got the MRI result...hemmmmmm.....one of the disc in my spine between L4 + L5 have experince a traumatise effect..known as posterolateral prolapsed or also known as disc desiccation and bulging....the bone is dammm dark from the MRI image...plus between the L3+L4 there is a sign of sociolosis...hhahhaa..hope i spell it right...it means it got deterioration effect...wth...iam 25 years old for goodness sake...anyway iam luckt coz therw is no major surgery needed...depend on medication +fisiotherapy session....

Now....just got home leave....relex...but the thing is the awfull pain+stiffness are comming back....signnnnnnnnnnn ~~~~~~~~~~

I am Backkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been a while not having a very clear + vivid image of who + what I want in life….feels so great. Will make it happened no matter what, will finished my ACCA in 2011 period… a path that already be locked.
The matters off getting married?????....I need to put it next to my passenger seat for a while…. Allah had created each one of us in this world with a purpose….and I have found mine…and He has planned everything so well…will used it to max….Nobody can put me down + tear my world apart…coz I am back…stronger+bolder….a fighter never give up...they just c the hurdel as sumthing that will make them become a better person....love ur self, ur family and stay true to ur true friends...make sure u become a better person inside+outside each day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!